My ex was the worst person I've ever known. Not because of all the horrible things he did to me, but because it was just so easy for him to lie cheat and steal from me with very little remorse. He was the lowst of the low, like a snake, but here's the thing about snakes...
A snake is always nice to the mouse until the trusting mouse gets too close and then BANG! Two fangs in the neck. Now the snake may show great remorse for what he has done. He may cry and say that he considered the mouse to be his little friend. But the problem is the the snake will do the same thing over and over again.
Why is because he is a snake, and that's what snakes do. It is their nature. Sometimes a mouse may jump back and escape, but then the snake sobs and says how sorry he is. He says "please forgive me! I don't know what came over me?" The mouse falls for the tears and is then bitten and swallowed whole. Then the snake hates himself for eating him, but he is a snake and that is what he does.
There are people all around us that manipulate and destroy us because that is what they do. My ex was this type of person. It didn't matter how many wonderful things I did for him, he still ended up sunking his poisenous fangs into my heart. Take a lesson from me, someone who has been through it, no matter how much he may cry and feel bad about it, if you fall for the tears, say good bye to your dreams of having a happy life together. It's better to end the relationship before things get out of hand because you will get caught in their spider web of evil and they will not be happy until they suck the life out of you!
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Love is Blind
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. . .And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. - 1 Corinthians 13:4-13
Love is all of the above things, but love will also make you do crazy things or let you allow others to do crazy things to you. When your mind, body, and heart tells you that you love someone, that love for them can consume you completely and turn you into someone you're not if the relationship is unbalanced. I've experienced a love like this recently and my experience tells me that it's better to have loved and lost than to try to hold on and wait until it crashes and burns.
For those of you who may be blinded by love, there are warning signs you just have to pay attention. If you ever notice ANY RED FLAGS, you may want to proceed with extreme caution before you get your feelings involved. Some warning signs can be over looked if a person is honorable and has good intentions.
But how can you tell when a person is honorable or that they have good intentions? I don't have all the answers, but chances are that if a person has had a troubled past, they probably have a few issues they need to work out before they get involved in a relationship (that doesn't mean you can't date just don't make any commitments when there's a chance the person you're dating could have questionable characteristics). But that person may also be a selfish ignorant bastard and want to drag you down with all their baggage and drama (the saying is true, misery loves company), so in that case you won't know what you've gotten yourself into until it's too late!
You can't change someone's attitude or behavior after only a couple of months of dating. And sometimes, that person is just a lost cause, and no matter how much you love/care for them, they will never be able to love you back because they are DAMAGED GOODS and don't really know how to love! If you feel that you are dating someone who's issues are this severe, BREAK UP and get away from your partner as fast as you can!!!
No matter how much they beg or plead with you for forgiveness, or how many promises they make swearing they're going to change, never take them back after he/she has violated your trust or disrespected you or the commitment they made to you. The relationship and your feelings mean very little to your partner if they can't be a decent human being and KEEP IT REAL! Chances are that if they are lying, cheating, and behaving disrespectfully now, or have done so in the past, they have very little regard for the feelings of others, and this will likely never change, so end the relationship now before this evil tyrant ruins your life.
"Evil people know full well how to make us feel good and how to manipulate us so that they can gain power and control over us. The Bible says let light expose the bad things. Evil people want their secrets inside them. "If you are a good person you will meet many evil people in your life, you need to recognize them and their actions. More importantly you need to recognize which evil behaviors you have been conned into excepting as reasonable and to reject those behaviors - both in yourself and in others - as unacceptable." - R. Canup
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
Love is all of the above things, but love will also make you do crazy things or let you allow others to do crazy things to you. When your mind, body, and heart tells you that you love someone, that love for them can consume you completely and turn you into someone you're not if the relationship is unbalanced. I've experienced a love like this recently and my experience tells me that it's better to have loved and lost than to try to hold on and wait until it crashes and burns.
For those of you who may be blinded by love, there are warning signs you just have to pay attention. If you ever notice ANY RED FLAGS, you may want to proceed with extreme caution before you get your feelings involved. Some warning signs can be over looked if a person is honorable and has good intentions.
But how can you tell when a person is honorable or that they have good intentions? I don't have all the answers, but chances are that if a person has had a troubled past, they probably have a few issues they need to work out before they get involved in a relationship (that doesn't mean you can't date just don't make any commitments when there's a chance the person you're dating could have questionable characteristics). But that person may also be a selfish ignorant bastard and want to drag you down with all their baggage and drama (the saying is true, misery loves company), so in that case you won't know what you've gotten yourself into until it's too late!
You can't change someone's attitude or behavior after only a couple of months of dating. And sometimes, that person is just a lost cause, and no matter how much you love/care for them, they will never be able to love you back because they are DAMAGED GOODS and don't really know how to love! If you feel that you are dating someone who's issues are this severe, BREAK UP and get away from your partner as fast as you can!!!
No matter how much they beg or plead with you for forgiveness, or how many promises they make swearing they're going to change, never take them back after he/she has violated your trust or disrespected you or the commitment they made to you. The relationship and your feelings mean very little to your partner if they can't be a decent human being and KEEP IT REAL! Chances are that if they are lying, cheating, and behaving disrespectfully now, or have done so in the past, they have very little regard for the feelings of others, and this will likely never change, so end the relationship now before this evil tyrant ruins your life.
"Evil people know full well how to make us feel good and how to manipulate us so that they can gain power and control over us. The Bible says let light expose the bad things. Evil people want their secrets inside them. "If you are a good person you will meet many evil people in your life, you need to recognize them and their actions. More importantly you need to recognize which evil behaviors you have been conned into excepting as reasonable and to reject those behaviors - both in yourself and in others - as unacceptable." - R. Canup
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
Saturday, November 21, 2009
Don't Let Your Emotions Dictate Your Relationships!!!
I've noticed that I am not the only one who has bee having relationship issues and I feel it's time someone calls out the men who underestimate us!
I'm a hard working woman who is educated, cultured, and sophisticated as well as beautiful, but these days all men seem to be interested in are big titties and big asses. Well what about what attracts us to men? It's not only about the size of the wallet or the ship, or the motion in the ocean, there's a bigger picture involved when it comes to dating, ad through my experiences of trial ad error, I've learned that it's better to be picky and wait until the whole package comes along, than it is to settle for someone who's only partially what your looking for.
Don't get me wrong, I now that there is no such thing as the perfect man, so it's good to establish an interim hobby until one who is close enough to perfect comes along. But never make the interim man the main man because his short comings will be the death of the relationship. It's better to just look at your relationships as business partnerships instead of letting your emotions decide what's good for you. Keep it logical!
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
I'm a hard working woman who is educated, cultured, and sophisticated as well as beautiful, but these days all men seem to be interested in are big titties and big asses. Well what about what attracts us to men? It's not only about the size of the wallet or the ship, or the motion in the ocean, there's a bigger picture involved when it comes to dating, ad through my experiences of trial ad error, I've learned that it's better to be picky and wait until the whole package comes along, than it is to settle for someone who's only partially what your looking for.
Don't get me wrong, I now that there is no such thing as the perfect man, so it's good to establish an interim hobby until one who is close enough to perfect comes along. But never make the interim man the main man because his short comings will be the death of the relationship. It's better to just look at your relationships as business partnerships instead of letting your emotions decide what's good for you. Keep it logical!
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Online Stalkers
I've never been one for blogging until I had to create this blog for a class I was taking, but I finally got a response to one of my posts that I left over a year ago, and i believe it's my ex-boyfriend who is stalking me online.
I'm really confused as to why he would do this, especially when he cheated on me and ruined our relationship with his lies about the fact that he had a girl on the side for over a year while we were together. The worst part about it is he keeps trying to play the victim by accusing me of cheating. He's living by a double standard, so that meant it was okay for him to go out and meet women and buy them drinks and give out his number, but it wasn't okay for me to accept a free drink when I was offered one or network and make new acquaintances. And he was so jealous and insecure that it was ridiculous. I couldn't go visit my girls or go out without him going through my phone and checking for new numbers or calling me every 10 minutes to question me about where I was, and who I was with.
I was never insecure enough to go through my ex's stuff, but I did want to give him a taste of his own medicine, so I went through his phone to see what i could find. And of course I found out that he wasn't half as considerate of my feelings as he expected me to be of his. He had been giving his number out to bitches at his job and ended up letting one of them live with him while we were together. He had this whole elaborate scheme to keep me from finding out about his side girl where he'd hide the girls clothing in his dirty hamper or under his bed so that I wouldn't notice, but eventually I did and that's when the lies started pouring out of his mouth. He made up this story about how the clothes were a friend of a friends who had no where to store it, and he even got his brother to lie for him. But lies are like a disease for which there is no cure, and once a liar, always a liar because it's easier to make up your own reality than it is to accept and deal with real reality.
Since he was caught red handed, why couldn't he man-up and just admit what he did? That's why I ended it once and for all. I know the saying goes that if you let something go and it comes back to you it's yours, but sometimes when it comes back it's yours and 2-3 other people's as well. Well I don't want him, so whoever does can have that headache.
I still don't understand why when it's over does the cheater still try to hang on? That just never made any sense to me! If i was the woman you wanted to be with, why couldn't you keep your dick in your pants? I obviously wasn't enough for you, so go find someone, two, or three who are.
Why is it okay for a man to ask for a commitment from their women and later break that commitment. Just do yourself a favor and don't make any commitments until you're sure you know what you want. It's that simple. Men don't need to tell women that he loves her just to sleep with her anymore, we all have needs, so if you're straight up I'm sure something can be worked out where no one gets hurt. Or if you're in a committed relationship but feel a strong attraction to someone else, break up until you figure out what you want and spare everyone the pain of having to deal with your lies and deceitfulness, & you'll get a lot more respect in the end and because no one can get mad since they had no claim to you. Games and tricks are for kids, so stop playing around!
I trusted & loved this man, and he violated that trust on more than one occasion, so why can't he just let me go so I can move on with my life. After all the hurt and pain he caused me, why doesn't he just go be with the women he cheated on me with, and leave me the hell alone? I understand people make mistakes that they later regret, but if he truly regrets losing me, he would've kept it real from the beginning. I would've rather broken up so that he could mess around and have him come back later after he realized the other woman doesn't compare to me, than for him to lie and cheat on me behind my back. What hurts even more is that he continues to deny that he has any involvement with this woman, even though I know that too is a lie. This chic even heard his lies for herself when we banded together and made a secret 3 way call to him, yet and still she continues to deal with him (although I was guilty of that for a while 2 so I guess we're just 2 stupid ass bitches). But I've learned from my mistake, which was to ever trust a piece of crap like my ex! And I pledge that the next time around I won't rush into a relationship just because the man I'm dating tells me that i'm the only one he wants to be with.
I didn't want to, but he forced me to end the relationship because no body wants to be with someone who lies, cheats, and steals, so if that is you who is sending me anonymous responses to my posts, please cease and desists! You had your chance to be with me, and you messed that up to have an affair with someone who you don't even really like! After all the drama you put me through, enough is enough. I did truly love you and I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt even though you didn't deserve it, but you made a fool of me!
It would've been different if you were a real man and could be honest with the women you deal with by telling them that you have other women of interest in your life, but that's to honorable for a scum bag like you. I think it's pretty pathetic for a man to feel like he has to lie and tell women that he loves them and wants to marry them in order for them to stick around. If you can't say what you really mean, and mean what you say, you're one sorry ass excuse of a man! And I want nothing more to do with you, so please...
STOP STALKING ME!
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
I'm really confused as to why he would do this, especially when he cheated on me and ruined our relationship with his lies about the fact that he had a girl on the side for over a year while we were together. The worst part about it is he keeps trying to play the victim by accusing me of cheating. He's living by a double standard, so that meant it was okay for him to go out and meet women and buy them drinks and give out his number, but it wasn't okay for me to accept a free drink when I was offered one or network and make new acquaintances. And he was so jealous and insecure that it was ridiculous. I couldn't go visit my girls or go out without him going through my phone and checking for new numbers or calling me every 10 minutes to question me about where I was, and who I was with.
I was never insecure enough to go through my ex's stuff, but I did want to give him a taste of his own medicine, so I went through his phone to see what i could find. And of course I found out that he wasn't half as considerate of my feelings as he expected me to be of his. He had been giving his number out to bitches at his job and ended up letting one of them live with him while we were together. He had this whole elaborate scheme to keep me from finding out about his side girl where he'd hide the girls clothing in his dirty hamper or under his bed so that I wouldn't notice, but eventually I did and that's when the lies started pouring out of his mouth. He made up this story about how the clothes were a friend of a friends who had no where to store it, and he even got his brother to lie for him. But lies are like a disease for which there is no cure, and once a liar, always a liar because it's easier to make up your own reality than it is to accept and deal with real reality.
Since he was caught red handed, why couldn't he man-up and just admit what he did? That's why I ended it once and for all. I know the saying goes that if you let something go and it comes back to you it's yours, but sometimes when it comes back it's yours and 2-3 other people's as well. Well I don't want him, so whoever does can have that headache.
I still don't understand why when it's over does the cheater still try to hang on? That just never made any sense to me! If i was the woman you wanted to be with, why couldn't you keep your dick in your pants? I obviously wasn't enough for you, so go find someone, two, or three who are.
Why is it okay for a man to ask for a commitment from their women and later break that commitment. Just do yourself a favor and don't make any commitments until you're sure you know what you want. It's that simple. Men don't need to tell women that he loves her just to sleep with her anymore, we all have needs, so if you're straight up I'm sure something can be worked out where no one gets hurt. Or if you're in a committed relationship but feel a strong attraction to someone else, break up until you figure out what you want and spare everyone the pain of having to deal with your lies and deceitfulness, & you'll get a lot more respect in the end and because no one can get mad since they had no claim to you. Games and tricks are for kids, so stop playing around!
I trusted & loved this man, and he violated that trust on more than one occasion, so why can't he just let me go so I can move on with my life. After all the hurt and pain he caused me, why doesn't he just go be with the women he cheated on me with, and leave me the hell alone? I understand people make mistakes that they later regret, but if he truly regrets losing me, he would've kept it real from the beginning. I would've rather broken up so that he could mess around and have him come back later after he realized the other woman doesn't compare to me, than for him to lie and cheat on me behind my back. What hurts even more is that he continues to deny that he has any involvement with this woman, even though I know that too is a lie. This chic even heard his lies for herself when we banded together and made a secret 3 way call to him, yet and still she continues to deal with him (although I was guilty of that for a while 2 so I guess we're just 2 stupid ass bitches). But I've learned from my mistake, which was to ever trust a piece of crap like my ex! And I pledge that the next time around I won't rush into a relationship just because the man I'm dating tells me that i'm the only one he wants to be with.
I didn't want to, but he forced me to end the relationship because no body wants to be with someone who lies, cheats, and steals, so if that is you who is sending me anonymous responses to my posts, please cease and desists! You had your chance to be with me, and you messed that up to have an affair with someone who you don't even really like! After all the drama you put me through, enough is enough. I did truly love you and I tried to give you the benefit of the doubt even though you didn't deserve it, but you made a fool of me!
It would've been different if you were a real man and could be honest with the women you deal with by telling them that you have other women of interest in your life, but that's to honorable for a scum bag like you. I think it's pretty pathetic for a man to feel like he has to lie and tell women that he loves them and wants to marry them in order for them to stick around. If you can't say what you really mean, and mean what you say, you're one sorry ass excuse of a man! And I want nothing more to do with you, so please...
STOP STALKING ME!
"Common sense is not so common."
* Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique (1764)
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